


Drabble Away

by oakfarmer



Category: Hunger Games Series - All Media Types, Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins, The Hunger Games (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Crack, F/M, Post Mockingjay, one shots
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-17
Updated: 2021-02-04
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:02:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,861
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28118901
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oakfarmer/pseuds/oakfarmer
Summary: Drabble CollectionLikely to find -*In Panem AU*Post Mockingjay*Comedy/Crack(on brand)
Relationships: Katniss Everdeen/Peeta Mellark
Comments: 22
Kudos: 63





	1. can't catch a break... or a pie

**Author's Note:**

> if you follow me on tumblr @oakfarmer12 these were probably cross-posted over there

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in Panem/not reaped Au

It’s hot.

That’s the only thought repeating in his mind as the sweat drips down his back. The bakery has always been unbearably hot in July, but today is on a new level of torture.

They’ve been closed for half an hour yet the summer sun is still too high. The open windows and doors can’t relieve a full day of roaring ovens.

He and Rye work in silence. Even adding their voices to the air might raise the temperature.

Maybe it was the sweat. Maybe the heat exhaustion. Maybe he just can’t catch a break, but it slips.

The bubbling blueberry pie slides off his oven paddle and bursts open against his bare leg.

The instant burning screams at him along with his late father’s voice to never wear shorts in the kitchen. His own screams join the chorus.

“Damn it, Peeta!” Rye runs a towel under the sink faucet as fast as he can and tosses it over the workbench.

Getting the sticky purple lava off his leg does nothing but reveal the fiery red splotches already rising.

He hobbles over to the sink and hoists his leg under the running water. Balancing on one foot, splayed over the dirty pots and pans, is the moment their mother chooses to join them for the evening count.

“What the hell did you do now?” Her shrill voice rattles his pounding eardrums.

“My leg sampled a pie.” Peeta grits through his teeth. The lukewarm water is helping, but he’s had enough burns to know they’re on the severe side of 2nd degree.

His mother rolls her eyes. “That’s coming out of your pay.” She’s already pulling out the ledger.

“Wouldn’t have dreamt otherwise.” Peeta bares his teeth. 

Rye subtly shakes his head and casts a warning look to Peeta. Don’t make it worse.

“Peeta!” Katniss gasps from the open back door.

So much for not making it worse.

Their mother doesn’t look up from what she’s jotting down in the book. “Mind your business, girl. What do you have today?”

Katniss is still focused on him and his sorry leg at the sink. Her mouth flaps for air. “I’ll get my mom.”

“Oh no you don’t.” His mother spins fast enough to catch Katniss by her game bag. “My son doesn’t need that Seam witch. We’ll deal with the apothecary if needed.”

Katniss rips the bag out of her grasp. “It’s obviously needed!”

“You need to mind your business. Do you want to trade or not?” His mother’s venomous voice is barely contained by her greed for the contents of that game bag.

“Katniss,” Peeta keeps his tone as calm as he can. “it’s not as bad as it looks.” He shuts off the water and brings his foot back down to the floor. It takes all his strength to hold his causal stance as the blood pools back into his screaming leg.

Katniss brushes past his mother through the doorway. Her eyes brimming with tears. “Can you even walk?”

Rye tries. “I have some leftover burn cream he can use.”

Katniss’ mouth sets in a straight line as she looks at his brother. “Then why don’t you go get it?” Guess she figured out his bluff.

His mother is poised to strike. “Girl, if you don’t get out of my kitchen I’m not giving you bread for a mon—-“

“Peeta, I can’t do this anymore!!” Katniss fists clench at her sides.

“Oh thank god, cause I can’t either.” Peeta hobbles his way over to her.

He stands in front of her and gently grips her shoulders. Ignoring the death glares being shot behind her head. “Does this mean you’ll agree to the mines now?”

Katniss is shaking. Her eyes soften as she looks at him but then fall back down to his leg.

“You’re not supposed to get hurt here.” Her words are so quiet. Still focused on his injury. “Is that really what you want?”

Peeta lifts her chin. “What I want is to spend every night with you. Not just a few stolen hours. What I want is to hold your hand through the square. What I want is to —-“

“You’re going to go into the mines for a Seam whore?” The snake isn’t holding back anymore.

Peeta wraps an arm around Katniss’ waist. She supports some of the weight his leg is protesting, as they make their way out the door. Peeta looks back into the kitchen. “What I’m going to do, is go home with my wife.”

She’d refused to marry him if it meant a life in the mines. But he’d refused to plan a future without her in it.

His mother doesn’t blink. She’s done everything in her power to keep them apart since his father died. Ever since she saw them trade together two years ago. Her son, too happy. The hunter, too free with her laughs. She straightens her back. “Don’t show either of your faces here again.”

Rye gives a sad smile. Now it’s just him and their mother.

Maybe when she’s gone Rye will want him back in the bakery. There’s no shortage of work to do. Until then he’ll gladly shovel coal all day, as long as he can hold Katniss at night.

Plus the mines are always cold.

Even in the summer.


	2. frozen leap

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> post-mockingjay  
> the first winter after the war

Prim’s been dead for a year. One year and one day.

All Katniss wants to do is lay under her blankets and stare at nothing. But if she stayed frozen in bed for a second day, it would have set Peeta on edge.

Every ‘ _Katniss, can I get you something_?’, ‘ _Katniss, please get up_ ’ tinged with increasing fear and panic.

Instead she’s dragged him all the way out here so they can freeze together next to her father’s lake.

The fire he’s built in the cabin’s tiny hearth might as well be full of the heatless flames they wore in the Capitol parades. Only his arm pressed up against hers provides any warmth.

She’s only brought him here twice. But the first time had been for Prim too.

Months ago, Peeta stomped through her house before finding her tucked inside a closet. 

Peeta scooped her off the floor, then rocked her in his lap. “Is this because we added him to the book? Was it too much?” He asked against the top of her head.

She didn’t know how to answer. Had it been too much? Probably. But she needed to preserve the few memories she had left of her Father. Alive and strong.

Sealing his last page in the book triggered a fresh wave of nightmares. Mine collapses, bombs falling from the sky. Prim and Father calling to her from the bottom of a deep grave. She’d woken up by landing hard against the bedroom floor.

Peeta still waited patiently for her answer. Rocking her back and forth and gently running his fingers through her tangled hair. In a shaky breath, she whispered, “Neither of them have a grave.”

His movements paused for just a moment before returning to the soothing rhythm. “We could place something in the meadow before they close it up. Or I could paint both of them, or----”

Katniss shook her head against his chest. His family’s remains are somewhere in that mass grave, but she hated the idea. Prim was too bright to be buried in so much death and darkness. 

She lifted her head to look at him. “I shot an arrow in the lake.” Peeta’s tired eyes studied her in confusion. “I …. after my Father died, the first time I made it back to his lake, I shot an arrow into the water for him.”

He’d nodded for her to continue. Like she might finish whatever story she’d started telling. She forced herself to leave his arms and stand. “Umm...will you go with me? It’s a bit of a hike.”

The lake had been beautiful on that summer day. Peeta marveled at the scenery and thanked her repeatedly for sharing it with him.

They’d sat together on the shore. Gently laying fresh picked yellow flowers into the water's edge. Watching as they floated out deep into the lake, and one by one sank below the surface.

Now that surface is solid ice. Covering the top of the lake like the freshly turned dirt over the meadow.

“Katniss.” Peeta’s voice is hoarse from disuse. Neither has spoken a word for hours. “We need to go home soon. The temperature’s falling.”

The hike back to Victor’s Village was as silent as the hike to the lake. Only Peeta’s crushing steps echoed through the forest.

“Finally! Was wonderin’ if you two winter adventurers were going to call it a day before dark!” A bundled up Haymitch yells from his porch, when they reach the lawn.

“What’s it to you?” Katniss yells back, making no effort to slow her pace to chat with the neighborhood drunk.

“Still your guardian ‘til you turn 19, Sweetheart. Gotta get past reaping age, remember?” He throws back a swig from the bottle in his gloved hand.

Katniss turns and sneers at him. “And a fine job you’ve done.”

Haymitch clutches his heart in mock offense. “Oh, I didn’t know you were looking for me to be a more involved parent. How ‘bout I enforce a no more sleepovers rule? Think I haven’t noticed you two’s new arrangement?”

She hopes the winter air is hiding how red her cheeks must be. “Get your ass inside before you pass out and freeze to death!”

“Gladly.” Haymitch stands and raises his liquor bottle to the two of them. He nearly trips over the leg of the dining chair he dragged onto his porch. The door slams shut as he tumbles inside.

One of them will have to check on him in the morning. She’s sure the task will fall on Peeta.

They linger a moment. Staring at the empty chair before Peeta follows her through the front door of her house. Lighting the living room fire while she settles on the sofa.

When he’s finished, he doesn’t sit next to her like he normally would. He shifts his weight from foot to foot and rubs the back of his neck. “Should I stay tonight?”

She shrugs under the quilt draped across her shoulders. “If you want to.”

“I always want to.” He doesn’t move from his spot by the fireplace.

Katniss holds open the blanket. He sighs as he slowly sinks down beside her.

He hasn’t slept in his own house since late autumn. During an especially late night working on the memory book, they fell asleep together on her sofa. They woke up to the noon sunlight pouring through the window. It was the most rested she’d felt since before the Quell.

The next night she asked if he wanted to sleep in the bed. He answered with a gulp and a nod. 

Wrapped in the blanket, only their knees touching. She peers at him.

Every day he’s getting better. Physically and mentally. His blonde curls have grown to cover the burn scar near his eyebrow. He’s managed the last few hijacking episodes in under five minutes. Only needing to grip the closest piece of furniture until his knuckles turn white. 

Maybe it helps that he takes full advantage of his phone calls with Dr. Aurelius. Half of her sessions they end up discussing the weather. 

“Peeta, why are you still here?”

His whole body tenses. “I…I thought you wanted me to sit when---"

“Why are you still in 12?” She’d resigned herself to this conversation. Tried not to get overly dependent on his presence before his inevitable departure.

He turns to fully face her. The quilt falling behind his back. “Where else should I be?”

“Anywhere?” She huffs. “You could go anywhere. Start over. Build a new life.”

He shakes his head in confusion. “I thought that’s what we were already doing. Starting over, building a new life.”

“Didn’t you come back for closure?” She can’t look at him. She focuses on sliding her sock across a crack in the floorboard.

After he buried his family and the site of the bakery was cleared, she braced for him to pack up. Board a hovercraft and move. Maybe to 4 like her mother. He could learn how to swim in the ocean. Or join the new government in District 2 like Gale.

Peeta’s fingers glide over the back of her hand. “This is my home. But … when I remembered and got my head fairly sorted out...” He tips her chin so he can look into her eyes. “You have to know I came back for you. Don’t you know that by now?”

Maybe some part of her did know that. And that's exactly what she's worried about. “You’ll never have a normal life with me. I can’t give you children or-----”

“Children??" He leans away from her. "Don’t you think you’re skipping some steps?”

She looks down again and fidgets with the fraying fabric on the quilt. She is jumping ahead. But it's better he knows now, than wait until she needs him again. “I know you want them. Or you will. And you’re so much better. You’ll be a wonderful father someday. I can’t be a mother. I never wanted it. I can’t----”

“Katniss!” Her head jerks up at his harsh tone. The blue of his eyes assures her he’s not in a full episode yet, but his hold on the couch cushion isn’t exactly gentle. 

His next sentence is calm but measured. “There was never a baby. It was a lie I told to try to stop the Quell. Real or not real?” He hasn’t used the game for important questions in so long, she wasn’t sure he still needed it. 

“Real. I was never pregnant.” Her throat clenches. After all the deaths, she doesn’t understand how she can still feel grief for an imaginary baby. She doesn't know if it's for the baby he made up or the one she dreamt of in the arena. 

Peeta grinds his teeth. “We’ve never slept together. Real or not real?”

“We’ve slept in the same bed, but we’ve never had sex.” She always tries to leave zero room for doubt in these answers.

His eyes squeeze shut and he takes a ragged breath. “You don’t want me here. Real or not real?”

“Not real.” The answer rushes out of her. She pauses before finishing, “I don’t want you to waste your life by staying here with me.”

He takes another deep breath before looking at her. “But what _do_ you want?”

“I…” Her eyes flit down to look at his mouth for only a second but he catches it.

His tongue darts out over his lower lip. “What do _you_ want, Katniss?”

She's not allowed to want. Wanting can tip into needing before she can stop it. 

"Katniss." Her name, a plea on his tongue. 

She closes the space between them and places her lips on top of his. It’s soft. He’s so warm. She’s missed him. Missed this. He’s been holding her in his arms every night but she hasn’t dared inch closer.

He cups her face and deepens the kiss. Her body melts into him.

When they break apart, his thumbs graze across her cheeks. His eyes widen. “You’re crying.”

She half laughs while swiping away the tears. “I’ve missed you.”

“I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere.” He pulls her into a tight hug.

Katniss closes her eyes and relaxes against his shoulder. Allowing herself a brief moment to believe he’ll really stay.

After a nightmare free sleep, they wake wrapped around each other. Peeta adds a chaste kiss to their morning routine before leaving to bake for those who have returned home to District 12.

She throws off the blanket and her feet hit the floor. Discarding the comfort of the bed. She walks out of the room without a second thought to crawl back under the covers. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is a modified version of a previously posted fic, no longer in series


	3. fleeing flowers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> post-mockingjay  
> Johanna visits 12 for the Harvest festival

Snow’s been dead for almost 5 years.

Yet, when the stench of roses hits her nose, every muscle still springs into action. Sending her flying off the train platform and across the town square.

She throws open the familiar back door. Two blonde bakers stare at her in concern as she wedges herself beneath the kitchen counter.

Her husband gingerly approaches. He squats down, his soft eyes study her face. The sweet scent of cinnamon and sugar ground her back to the present reality in their safe, warm bakery.

“Roses.” Katniss forces between ragged breaths and clenched teeth. “I just need a minute.”

Peeta opens his mouth, but whatever comforting string of words were forming are interrupted by the kitchen’s front double doors bursting open.

“Some welcoming committee you are, Brainless! Maybe next time don’t chuck my bag 3 yards before you sprint away.” Johanna drops the dirt covered bag to the floor.

Peeta slowly stands back up, his gaze staying fixated on Katniss. “Hey, Jo. She just needs---”

“Oh, I know exactly what she needs.” Johanna jumps up onto the counter. Her butt landing in a pile of flour sending a cloud through the air. Her foot bumps up against Katniss below.

Davy Cartwright has emptied an entire frosting bag onto a single cupcake while watching the scene.

Before any of them can move, Johanna produces a rose bud from her coat and shoves it in Katniss’ face.

“What are you doing?!” Peeta rips the flower out of her hand and throws it into the brick oven.

Johanna hops off the counter. “It’s called a little exposure therapy. Surprised you two’s doc hasn’t taught you that by now. I can take a shower, in a rainstorm, while swimming in the ocean at this point. She should be able to look at a stupid plant.”

He’s back down on the floor next to Katniss. Placing a gentle hand on the knees she hugs tight to her chest. In a clipped tone, he addresses their guest. “Pretty sure you’re supposed to know it’s coming, for it to be called any kind of therapy.”

“It’s okay, Peeta.” Katniss starts to stand. He wraps his arms around her to support her still shaky legs.

“See, she’s fine.” Johanna scoops up a bit of the frosting from Davy’s ruined cupcake and licks it off her finger.

Katniss can feel her heartbeat returning to a normal rhythm. She focuses on the steady beat from Peeta’s chest. “Why are there roses here anyway?”

Davy clears his throat. The awkward teen rings the frosting bag between his hands. “Umm…Mrs. Hawkins told me they were ordering a crate of them for the Harvest festival. It’s part of some tradition from District 1. We’ve been talking about it at school. You give someone a rose. If they decide to keep it, they give you a dance or a ki... I’m…I’m so sorry, I should have said something. I didn’t know it would---”

“Not your fault.” Peeta sighs and rubs soothing circles across her back. “Guess it’s a good thing we found out before they’re all over the festival.” He nuzzles into her hair. “You okay?”

The eyeroll from Johanna is more of a full body one.

Katniss nods against him. He steps back, looking her over once again before returning a nod of his own. “Okay, I’m going to go talk to the Hawkins’. Davy watch the front.”

Johanna grabs her bag off the ground. “You’re letting Snow win. What are you going to do? Burn every rose in the District?”

Peeta plasters on one of his fake smiles. “The guest room at Haymitch’s is open as well, if you’d rather stay over there.”

“Eesh, down boy. I’ll behave. Come on Kat, let’s go wake up the ol’drunk while your hubby rids the world of pretty flowers.”

“When are you leaving again?” Haymitch grumbles while flopping back into his chair after shaking off the water Johanna had used as her greeting.

“Maybe you should have come to the train station, instead of sending Miss Flighty Bird.” She sets the pitcher down on the table and starts picking at the bread Peeta dropped off that morning.

Haymitch raises an eyebrow at Katniss. She worries her lip between her teeth before answering his unasked question. “They shipped in roses for the festival.”

“Ah, sorry, Sweetheart.”

“Wow.” Johanna rounds the table, sneering at him. “You’re babying her on this too. She needs to get over the flower phobia.”

“You of all people know it’s not about the flower.” Haymitch flicks water droplets in her face.

She doesn’t bother to wipe them off. “Sure, but it is, _now_. Because he’s dead.”

Haymitch pours his first drink of the morning, well afternoon, into a cup scooped from the floor. “Speaking of avoiding the dead, where are you off to next?” The whirlwind that is Johanna Mason never stays in one place for long. Twice a year since the war, she’s rolled into 12 for varying amounts of time. Never longer than a week, before she takes off in whatever direction calls her next. “Anywhere but 7, right? Maybe 4? Lots of memories toddling around there, too though.”

“I was in 4 couple days ago, actually, and he’s not much of a toddler anymore.” She fishes a photo out of her bag and gives it to Katniss. “Annie and Caspian say hi. Your mom said to remind you that she’s only a phone call away.”

The little boy with bronze hair looks like he can barely contain his energy long enough to sit in his mother’s lap for the picture. Katniss reverently traces his crooked grin. “I wish we could meet him, can’t believe how big he’s getting already.”

Johanna rights one of the flipped over dining chairs. “Yea, well. We’d probably have better luck sneaking you there, than getting Annie on a train. I’ve got a plan for how---”

Haymitch interrupts too loudly, “She doesn’t need to push her luck for a beach vacation.”

Katniss shakes her head. “We’re not going to be _sneaking_ anywhere, so relax.”

Johanna pops another chunk of bread into her mouth, chewing as she speaks. “Tried to convince your mom to come for the festival. That’d be a fun reunion to witness. You know I see your former cousin in Two sometimes. Don’t suppose he’ll be making an appearance either.”

She is well aware that Gale and Johanna regularly cross paths. It’s not the first visit Jo’s tried to ‘casually’ slip him into the conversation. Rory is convinced the two of them had a fling a couple of years ago.

Katniss narrows her eyes. “Hazel and the kids are in town. Rory hasn’t said anything about Gale coming, so I wouldn’t know. I haven’t talked to him since the war.”

“Still blaming him?”

“No.” The fact is that some of the blame for Prim’s death will always fall on Gale’s shoulders. But that’s not what Johanna is asking. She’s asking the same thing Dr. Aurelius has. If Katniss still feels the need to personally hold him responsible or, if for her own sake, she has reached a place where she could forgive him.

Johanna watches her for a moment. A small smile crosses her face. “Good.”

They leave Haymitch to continue his routine in peace. Crossing the lawn to the house she and Peeta call home.

She can hear the washing machine running and the shower on upstairs when they get inside. Johanna immediately makes herself comfortable. Dumping her bag in the foyer and heading straight for the guest room.

“I’m going to sleep. Don’t wake me unless there’s food involved.” Johanna’s hours are more similar to Haymitch’s than she’d care to admit. She usually spends half her nights in 12 drinking with him on his porch.

Katniss follows. Parting ways in the hall, and shutting the master bedroom door behind her.

“Peeta?”

His voice carries from their bathroom. “You don’t want to come in here yet. I’m trying to wash the rose stink off.”

“What happened?” Katniss sits on their bed and loosens the laces of her boots.

“I convinced Mrs. Hawkins that starting the tradition with homegrown flowers will be more profitable in the long run.” There are few things Mrs. Hawkins likes better than profits, Peeta and the Cartwright’s may be a close second though. “I bought the whole crate of roses from her. Then Davy and I burned up each and every one of ‘em.”

She kicks off the boots. “You really didn’t have to do that.”

Peeta pokes his head out from the shower. His bangs dripping onto his face as he smiles at her. “I’m not the biggest fan of the things either.” He ducks back behind the curtain. “Certainly, don’t want them at every Harvest Festival.”

“But Davy said the kids were talking about it at school. I’m sure they were looking forward to it.” Katniss pulls her sweater over her head.

“Well, he’ll just have to use his big boy words to ask Laurel for a dance this year.”

She pauses at the top button of her pants. “Wait, what?”

Peeta chuckles. “He confessed that they did learn about the District 1 tradition during History class, but that he was the one who talked Mrs. Hawkins into the order.”

She half snorts. “Because he’s a fifteen-year-old baker who can’t talk to the girl he likes.”

He lets out a deep laugh. “Correct.”

“What’s the replacement flower?” She slips off the rest of her clothes and uses her hunter’s tread to cross the floor.

“Sunflowers.” He sounds very proud of the choice. What could be more opposite to Snow’s death roses, than the sun’s life-giving edible flowers. “Delly already agreed to grow a patch and wholesale them to the Hawkins. They shook hands on it and everything.”

She pulls back the shower curtain. Peeta’s sudsy head whips up to view her from where he’s braced against the tile wall “Oh. Hi, I…. I think I can still smell them. Faintly.”

“Maybe Johanna’s right.” She joins him in the shower. The steamy air holds only a hint of the repulsive odor. “This is probably the least exposure I can get.” She takes the washcloth from his hand and focuses her attention on scrubbing the scar that runs across his strong chest.

Images flash in her mind with each breath she takes in. The sewer mutts, Snow’s wicked pink-tinged smile. The smell so closely connected to danger building in her lungs.

Peeta, always so in tune to her thoughts, covers her hand with his own. “Are you with me?”

The contact helps. She looks up at his imploring eyes. His wet hair hangs low enough to touch his long eyelashes. “Do you remember what you told Caesar …… umm, before the first games. Not, not about me but---”

He takes the washcloth from her and starts to wash along her collarbone and down her breasts. “I remember. They didn’t mess with my interview. Or the memories of their weird showers.” He switches to a more playful tone and leans in. “Hey, do I smell like roses to you?”

She can’t help but laugh at the ridiculousness of it all. “Little bit.” Then in her best Caesar impression, “What about me, how do I smell?”

He glides his nose against her cheek, taking a slow inhale. The playful tone is gone for another one she is intimately familiar with. “You definitely smell better than me.”

She kisses him. Their mouths press together in a mix of passion and survival. The pounding water and his skin on hers tether her in place.

He releases her lips and rests his forehead against hers. “Okay?”

She breaths him in. “Yea, yea I’m okay.”

Haymitch, Katniss and Johanna return to the Mellark booth. Each carrying two mugs of Greasy Sae’s spiked apple cider.

Peeta waves at them before turning to his young apprentice. “Go enjoy the rest of the festival, Davy. We’ve got it from here.”

Davy twists the bottom of his apron between his hands. “Ok, thanks. Yea…”

Peeta pats him on the back and mouths ‘you got this’. Davy takes a deep breath before darting out into the crowd.

Katniss hands Peeta one of the steaming cups. “Maybe you should have reminded him to take off the apron.”

“Nah, how could she say no to a man in frosting?” He gestures to his own color dotted uniform.

She lifts her mug to cover the upturn of her lips. “Let’s hope you’re right.”

Delly speaks up from the Linden Farm booth next to theirs. “From what I’ve seen, Laurel might just ask him herself if he doesn’t hurry up.” The baby wrapped to her back giggles. Katniss has often wondered if Delly had been as happy of a baby as this little girl has been since day one.

Her husband, Huckle, gives their four-year-old son another scoop of popcorn before accepting the cup Haymitch holds out to him. The two exchange a silent toast.

Johanna extends one of her drinks to Delly. “Here ya go, Goldilocks.”

“Oh, thank you! I didn’t realize you were getting me one too. That’s so sweet, but I can’t…umm...well….” Delly looks towards Huckle, who gives her a fond smile along with a shrug. “We’re expecting!”

Johanna smirks. “Told you Haymitch, you owe me a bottle. And none of that weak crap, I’m picking one of the ones Effie sends. Oh, and congrats.” Delly doesn’t look too thrilled with the crass Victor. Katniss used to think Delly could get along with anyone, but Johanna has proven time and time again to be the exception to the rule.

“Should never bet against the Farmer in the Dell.” Haymitch groans.

They’ve pushed the chipper blonde too far this time. “Haymitch! I swear, if you tell anymore of those jokes during this pregnancy, we will cut off your beer supply.”

Haymitch looks to Huckle to confirm the threat. But Huckle refuses to make eye contact with either of them. Not his wife nor his drinking buddy. The older man hangs his head in defeat. “Okay, I’m sorry Hun. If those are your terms, I promise no more jokes. Because…..”

“Haymitch….” Delly warns the petulant man.

“….the drunk takes the drink.”

Huckle tries to stifle a laugh and nearly chokes on his cider.

Peeta hugs his fuming childhood friend. “Congratulations, Dells! You too Huck!” He ruffles the wispy hairs on the smiling baby’s head. “You’re gonna be a big sister.”

Katniss backs away from the group. Trying to silently fade into the background. She sees Peeta scoop up the popcorn covered little boy. Telling him all about how exciting it will be to have two siblings.

She almost makes it to the backdoor of the bakery, before the stomping footsteps catch up to her.

“Where you think you’re going? And people say I’m the rude one. At least I congratulated them.” Johanna marches around the corner.

“I’ll only be a minute.” The hot unshed tears burn behind her eyes.

“What now? Roses I can understand. But a pregnant blonde sends you running for the cupboard too? Or was it the babbling baby that set you off?”

Katniss squeezes her eyes shut. “Peeta wants them so badly.”

Johanna’s sarcastic laughter echoes through the yard. “You’re not fooling me with that. Course Peeta wants a house full of mini Katnisses, but let’s not pretend that you don’t want those mini Peeta's. Maybe even more than him.”

Johanna’s lip curls in contempt as she reaches into her coat. “Open your hand.”

Katniss unfurls her fist and turns it over. Johanna presses an open rose bud into her palm.

The intensity of Johanna’s glare stills the instinct to launch the flower over the fence. “He’s dead. Stop letting him win.” Johanna spins around and storms back to the festival.

Katniss slowly looks down at the petals in her hand. Even slower she smells the fragrant air. Gently, she folds the rose into her pocket and walks back in the same direction as Johanna.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is a modified version of a previously posted fic, no longer in series


	4. crazy cat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt #43 for the everlarkficexchange: Katniss post-war becomes crazy cat lady, dedicates herself to caring for every stray, calls them all Buttercup, don’t get along with Haymitch’s geese. Now does Dr Aurelius make a house call? [submitted by @567inpanem]

Captain Jack Gander and his hearty crew have controlled Victor Sea for years. Pillaging and plundering as they pleased. No one daring to challenge the fearsome pirate or his flock of ruffians.

That is, until Captain Catnip began gathering a crew of her own. The mangiest bunch of scoundrels this side of Panem.

A battle here, a clash there and slowly Gander territory is being whittled away. Lost to his rival’s relentless pursuit of greed and gluttony.

Without drastic measures he’ll be ruined. Marooned to a tiny feather covered island. Surrounded on all sides by a foe worse than Davy Jones himself. He’d rather take on a whole fleet of scurvy dogs, than these seven bilge cats.

“Oh, they’re not all _that_ bad.” Peeta stands on the other side of the wire fence that Haymitch is mending.

“1st Mate, Peg-leg Peeta, once again offers false promises of peace in the form of meager rations.” Haymitch continues his musings.

Peeta brandishes his weapon. “I guess I can just take this ‘meager’ honey loaf back to the bakery, then.”

“Give it here, boy.”

Peeta hands him the bread with a suspicious lack of complaint about his poor manners.

“This might be a bit more impressive to you.” He pulls a bottle of liquor from his delivery bag and hands it to Haymitch. “Only needed a cup of it for the rum cake I made to go with dinner tonight.”

“Alright, out with it.” Haymitch drops the pirate accent. “What’s going on, now? Don’t even get my favorite bread, drink, _and_ dessert for my birthday.”

Peeta rubs the back of his neck. “I think Buttercup is pregnant.”

“Which Buttercup?” Haymitch punctuates the cat’s name.

Peeta sighs. “The grey tabby.”

Haymitch throws his head back. “She can barely handle the seven already! I told you they needed to see a Capitol vet.”

“You know she’s not going to send them to the Capitol.” Peeta scolds before seeming to think better of it. “I thought keeping the boys and girls separate would be enough but----” As he says this the orange one that started this whole mess walks by and hisses at the pair. “But they keep escaping.”

Haymitch goes back to working on the fence. “Yea, we’re aware over here.” A honk from the goose that cat spent his morning terrorizing backs him up.

“I can help you with the fence.” Peeta offers.

“How bout you focus on securing your own boundaries. And I’m not only talking about the physical ones. Seeing as how you’re about to hit double digits when that litter pops out.”

Peeta surrenders. “Okay…. I’ll try to get Buttercup back in the house. See you at dinner.”

“I’d rather not do dinner tonight.” Haymitch rolls up his sleeve to reveal a long cat scratch. “Give me a chance to heal up.”

Peeta cringes at the sight of the fresh gash along his mentor’s forearm. He starts to walk in the direction the mean old cat went.

“Ye’re welcome to bring over that there cake though, lad.”

Listen up! We won’t be going down without ah fight. Though we may be outnumbered, we have our wits!

Batten down the hatchlings! Ready the cannons!

“Canons?” Peeta lowers the overflowing wheelbarrow to the ground.

Haymitch slowly lowers his basket of goose eggs. “Whatcha got there?”

Peeta crosses his arms. “You first. I’ve got way too much to do without you adding scraping egg yolk off the house to the list.”

Haymitch juggles the egg in his hand up and down. “Not off the house…. just off whatever cat gets into the goose pen.”

“I’m working on it.” Peeta looks away. 

“Yea? What’s with the sand?” Haymitch points to the sand bag piled on top of the other sand bags, that is slowly leaking over the side of the wheelbarrow.

Peeta adjusts the bag. “It’s for the backyard.”

“I knew it. A litter box! You’re putting them outside.” Haymitch launches an egg at the cat attempting to sneak across his lawn. 

“I’ll build a fence. You told me to set some ground rules. The hair is getting hard to keep under control.” Peeta wipes off a few cat hairs from his shoulder to emphasis the point. “I can’t even bake in the house anymore.”

Haymitch reloads with another egg. “So, find them new houses!”

Peeta take a deep breath. “She’s not ready.”

“Is that what the Doc said?” 

“He….” Peeta shoos another intruder, “knows she has been rescuing cats…. but not how many we have.”

Haymitch rolls his eyes. “You get that doc on the phone and start picking out your favorite _one_ to keep, Savvy?”

The enemy is showing signs of weakness. Her rouge crew is ready to mutiny under her failed leadership.

Haymitch hoists the jolly roger flag over his porch.

“Well, yo ho ho there, Captain Catnip.”

Katniss stands at the bottom step. Wearing a black eye patch and a grey tabby kitten perched on her shoulder. “Don’t call me Catnip.”

“Fine,” He finishes securing the flag, “but Captain Katniss doesn’t quite have the same ring to it.”

“Of course, your favorite show stars that slurring drunk…” Katniss mumbles under her breath.

Haymitch cups his ear. “What was that? Didn’t quite catch it. Might help if you unclench your teeth.”

“I said, quit watching Plutarch’s stupid Pirate show.” She growls.

Haymitch feigns offense. “Oh, okay. Cause for a second, I thought it sounded like you were judging someone’s unhealthy coping mechanisms.”

“I’m saving them.” Her exposed eye looks away.

“Pretty sure it’s the other way around at this point. You’re at what now? A baker’s dozen. They’re not cupcakes.” He thinks a moment. “That’s actually a decent name for that one.” He points to the one on her shoulder. “Hey, Cupcake.”

Katniss sneers. “His name is Buttercup.”

“Look around!” Haymitch gestures across the Village.

Peeta waves from the climbing tree he’s building between the sandbox and catnip garden. Two cats are lapping up water from the fountain he fixed for them. Another runs across the top of their useless fence.

“Your husband is ready to turn all of Victor Village into a kitty sanctuary just so you can carry on in some fantasy world where Prim’s cat didn’t die.”

Her eye pierces into him, but the glare she is attempting is undercut not only by the patch but also by the tears welling up. She breaks her stare, looking at the ground and swiping away the few she couldn’t hold in.

Haymitch’s tone softens. “Sweetheart, you don’t even like cats.”

“They’re okay.” She sniffles.

“Well, they don’t seem to like you. Except for maybe Cupcake, here.” He pets the tamest of the bunch.

She adjusts her eye patch and pulls down on the cuffs of her shirt sleeves.

Haymitch climbs down the steps. “That cat lived out his full nine lives. You took great care of him for her. He just... got old.” How many people in 12 never made it to be called old?

She takes a shuddered breath. “He was acting fine that morning. I didn’t even say goodbye. I shooed him out the door after breakfast. Then when I walked up the porch after hunting…..he…he was…..I thought he was asleep…”

He places a gentle hand on her arm and gives her a light squeeze. “I know.”

Her tears escape. “I lost the only living piece of her I had left.”

Haymitch shakes his head. “You’re forgetting yourself. You’re the living piece of her you have left.”

“He’s right, Katniss.” Peeta walks up behind her.

He wraps his wife in a hug. The kitten crawls over to Peeta’s shoulder and nuzzles against his cheek, in what even Haymitch can admit is an adorable group hug.

Haymitch clears his throat. “Now about those cats….”

The mangy crew set sail. Spreading far and wide on new adventures.

Terrorizing someone else’s seas. 

One lone shipmate stayed behind.

Cabin Cat Cupcake.


	5. peeta davidson

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So... the concept @endlessnightlock came up with, was parody fanfic about Peeta Mellark where he constantly wonders if women like him for who he is or if they just do because of his big dick ala Pete Davidson.
> 
> And then this happened ...
> 
> For you @endlessnightlock 😘

Their first customer of the morning walks through the bakery door. A woman in her late thirties, maybe early forties. She must have arrived with the train at dawn.

Peeta’s never seen her before. Based on her frilled pants suit and impractical shoes, she’s most likely in District 12 on Capitol business with the mayor.

“Good morning.” She greets the three men behind the counter with a sickly sweet smile. “I’ve been told this is the place to find the famous Mellark baguette.”

His father narrows his eyes. “Listen, lady.” All three Mellark men fold their arms in a matching line up. “You’re obviously not from around here. But I’m married. That ones engaged. And that one’s taken.” He points to Rye then Peeta.

Rye scowls. “Please pick out your bread. We’re trying to run a business here.”

The woman looks back and forth between the bakers. She points stiffly at a long French loaf.

Peeta wraps the bread up and passes it over the counter. “That wasn’t so hard, was it?”

She puts too many coins down and gingerly accepts the package. The polyester of her periwinkle pants announces each hurried step out the door.

Their father shakes his head. “Too early for that nonsense.”

Peeta nods in agreement.

The Mellark reputation has been more curse than blessing. The well endowed men of Panem deal with more unwanted advances than their oven deals with dough.

And after an awkward measurement settled a brotherly bet, now the whole district knows Peeta is the biggest dick between the three of them.

He can’t be too upset about it though. Mr. Happy’s unique size did earn him the affections of the only girl he’s ever loved.

When Katniss started flirting during their back door trades, he knew word had left the merchant sector and jumped to her neck of the woods.

How could he mind her sudden interest? She’s everything he’s ever wanted, and they’ve been quietly dating for close to a year now.

Delly’s waiting for him behind the bakery, ready for their walk to school.

At least he doesn’t have to worry about her drooling over what’s in his pants. As his future sister-in-law, what in Rye’s keeps her plenty satiated.

Delly gives him a cheerful wave. “Hey Peeta. How are we doing today?”

Peeta rolls his eyes. “ _We_ are just fine, thank you.” Sometimes he feels like nothing but a plus one to his penis.

They start walking towards the road. Delly takes double steps to keep up with his rushing feet. “Did something happen?”

Peeta sighs and slows his pace. “Just another woman looking for some meat to go with her bread order.”

Delly’s fists shake in her flowy skirt. “Owww. Why can’t they leave you guys alone? I wish I was there. I would have told her to stick it where the sun don’t shine.”

He laughs. Delly is terrible at being mean, even when she wants to be. “I think she may have taken you up on that offer, Dells.”

They walk a few more steps before her eyes widen. “Well, stick something smaller where the sun don’t shine.” Delly huffs.

Rye was Delly’s first, and he heard from both of them how long it took for things to …. fit.

He and Katniss haven’t gone that far yet. Though they’ve done most everything else by now. He’ll have to cross that narrow bridge when they get there.

School carries on as usual. An innuendo here. An uncomfortable stare down there.

Time for his favorite class of the day, English. It’s not his favorite for the subject matter, but because Katniss sits at the desk in front of his.

She glides into her chair and deliberately flops her braid onto his desk so he can play with her hair.

“Alright class, today we are going to be reading from Moby Dick. Peeta, why don’t you start us off.”

Wooooow. How inappropriate. Even his teacher is throwing her hook in the water.

Ms. Hawkins waves her arm for him to step up to the front of the class.

He slides his copy of the classic off his desk and walks with it protecting the front of his crotch.

He avoids the weathered eyes of his teacher. Just another Captain Ahab on the hunt for Peeta’s white whale.

When he turns around, he finds Katniss smiling at him. His anchor in these rough seas.

Late in the afternoon he puts on the extra large cup passed down from his brothers.

Katniss and Madge will be watching his wrestling match from the stands.

His opponents are pinned almost as fast as they enter the ring.

Maybe if they’d kept their eyes up instead of on his bulge, they could put up a better fight.

Mr. Happy twitches as Katniss walks up. Peeta wants to suck on her graceful neck right here in the gym.

They can’t be openly affectionate at school to prevent word getting back to his mother. She gives the signal that her house will be the meeting spot tonight.

Must be a first time mom in labor somewhere.

Madge grins. “Congratulations on the win. It was looking tight there for a minute.”

Peeta adjusts his cup. It was feeling tight at the sight of Katniss leaning forward on the bleachers.

He wishes women would get their minds off of his cock.

Well, Katniss is welcome to put her mind on it.

And her mouth.

Where was he?

Doesn’t matter, because he’s already at Katniss’ house in the Seam.

His half naked girlfriend floats above his full naked self. Grinding her sopping wet panties against him.

He grips her hips, following her rhythm. He so close—

“Hey.” Her cheeks flush and she worries her lip. He hasn’t seen her look bashful in a while now. Katniss holds up a small square package. “I'm ready, if you are.”

His eyes focus on what’s in her hand. His head feels dizzy as all his blood shoots to his nether region, when he realizes it's a condom.

“Katniss, I want to. Oh god. You know I want to. Are you sure that one will fit? I know Rye has some special order ones at the house. But I don’t want to hurt you. Maybe we should get one of those toy things first, to stretch you with something smaller to start. I know they make—-”

“Wait, slow down. What are you talking about?” She rolls off and sits up beside him.

He instantly regrets the unsure waver in her voice. This is his fault not hers. “I don’t want to injure you with my oversized cock.”

“Peeta.” Katniss purses her lips and her eyebrows scrunch together. “My mom is a healer. I’ve seen a lot of penises.”

“Then you know why I’m concerned.” It’s taking all his will power not to squeeze into that ill-fitted latex suit and dive into her.

She stares at him for too long. “I’m saying, I’m pretty sure it.... it’s normal. Maybe a little thick.” Katniss throws her legs off the side of the bed. “Just a sec.”

She leaves the room muttering something about this not going the way she thought.

Peeta examines his lower half. The tiny smile on the top seems to be mocking him at the moment.

When she returns, Katniss drops an anatomy book and a seamstress tape measure on the bed.

He’s not in ideal condition for this but Katniss is still topless, and the sway of her breasts as she climbs back onto the bed does the trick.

Peeta picks up the tape measure and Katniss quickly flips open the book. She lands on a page with drawings just as life-like as he can sketch.

“Here. There’s the averages.” She shows him the chart.

He lays the numbers up his length. Depending on how he measures it, maybe a centimeter above average. If that.

Katniss does the girth measurement. Wrapping it around the base. There it’s closer to two centimeters above average. Still nothing remarkable.

“See. It’s in range.” Katniss is studying him. Her voice carries a patience his ego truly doesn’t require.

He’s more confused than anything else. “But girls used to tell Rye he was the biggest they’d ever been with.”

Katniss snorts. “Was he asking?? I really don’t know what they were supposed to say.”

“So, you’ve been with me this whole time, and it didn’t have anything to do with ….” He gestures to the shrinking appendage.

“I mean, I like what you have there.” Her perfect mouth turns down. “Are you saying you thought I was dating you for your ‘huge’ cock?”

He’s not sure her finger quotes were entirely necessary.

Peeta rubs his face. Every interaction he’s had with the opposite sex re-examined with a new filter laid on top of it.

One that doesn’t feature the famous Mellark baguette at the center.

The memories of those early flirty exchanges with Katniss. Those were after a conversation about a different loaf of Mellark bread. With a different type of nuts.

And something his dick had nothing to do with.

A bubble of joy bursts out of him. He cannot contain his relieved laughter. He pulls her close and places a sloppy kiss on her lips. “I love you so much. I’m so happy.”

Katniss looks down at his flaccid friend. “He’s not.” She smirks when she looks back into his eyes. “Can I make him happy too?”


	6. connecting with nature

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> post-mockingjay

“What are you doing?”

“What’s it look like I’m doing?” Haymitch answers back.

Katniss rolls her eyes. “It looks like you’re in my woods hugging a tree.”

Maybe she should find something amusing about the sight of the drunk sitting on the forest floor. Each arm and leg wrapped around the trunk of an old oak tree. Wearing a ridiculous wide rimmed hat and grungy flannel.

Maybe she would have laughed even, if she weren’t in such a foul mood.

“You don’t own the woods, Sweetheart.” Haymitch pats the tree truck.

He sounds too sober for such erratic behavior. Still, she should probably let Peeta know where he is before she spends the rest of her day hiding in the forest.

Haymitch opens his eyes and finally looks at her. “Dr. Aurelius wants me to get outside more often. Sunshine on my face. Wind in my hair.” He adds a hair flip for good measure. “Connect with nature. Get some exercise.”

Katniss looks around. They're within meters of Victor Village’s edge. And he sitting completely in the shade.

He fishes a crumbled paper from his shirt pocket and hands it to Katniss. She recognizes the doctor’s loopy handwriting.

_1\. Hug a tree._

Katniss sits down on one of the roots looking over the list.

_2\. Walk to town._

_3\. Care for a pet._

Haymitch has no business getting a pet. If he follows recommendation number three, the poor creature better be completely self sufficient. Or it will be one more thing for Peeta to take care of. “Since when do you listen to, Dr. Aurelius?”

He shrugs, arms in the position she found him. “Since he brought the kid back.”

“That was all Peeta.” Katniss snarls before tossing the paper at him. “You’re giving that quack way too much credit. He doesn’t know what he’s talking about!”

Haymitch lifts an eyebrow, leaning around the wide tree trunk to get a better look at her. “What’d he ask you to do?”

Katniss picks at the dry leaves on the ground. Breaking one apart before she answers. “He wants me to clean out Prim’s room.”

There’s a pause. She takes in a shaky breath before she can continue.

“Said I should save only a few of her things and repurpose the space.”

Haymitch nods. The rim of his floppy hat bumping against the tree. “Well, it’ll sure be nice not to wake up to the kid fumbling across the yard in his skivvies just to paint.”

She hates how he already knows a paint studio is the most natural purpose for the room. The room right across from the bedroom Peeta’s shared with her for months. The room with an abundance of sunlight and a built-in window seat. The same reasons Prim gave for picking the small, cozy room in the first place.

Katniss crushes a handful of leaves. Letting each broken bit fall slowly between her fingers. “You look ridiculous.”

Haymitch hugs the tree tighter. “I’m not hiding in my house though, am I?”

No.

No, he’s not hiding.

Katniss stands. She looks into her woods. How easy it is to get lost in the quiet she can find in them. But they’re not offering what she needs today.

She starts marching towards home. Blinking rapidly as her breathing gets more uneven with each deliberate step.

Haymitch calls out to her. “I’ll be there with some boxes in a minute. And Katniss?”

Katniss turns back. Haymitch once again has his eyes closed. The side of his face squished up against the tree trunk he’s hugging like a child hugs their parent’s leg.

A tiny laugh escapes her which doesn’t help the tears she was attempting to hold in.

“The tree says he’s proud of you, Sweetheart.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a picture of Haymitch hugging the tree can be found @oakfarmer12 over on Tumblr, thanks for reading!


End file.
